However, this post isn’t about the past. This is about the future. So I spent some time considering the vile leaders of the past and present who will in some way become apart of the next generation’s lives:

Kroks

In an effort to relaunch the brand, Croc will aim their famous product at their largest market, the Afrikaaner. The Groot Krokodil range will be a best seller, ensuring every boer has the comfort of plastic beneath his feet.

I can like to be comfortable

Vodka Stalin

With communist-chic currently en vogue, one smart marketing executive will see the true meaning behind Stalin’s Purges:

Pass me the bucket, peasant.

Osama Bed Linen

That’s just his name isn’t it?

Rest in Peace!

My point to all this: Do some critical thinking before you just wear whatever others are, or whatever is considered in this season. You may just save yourself from being considered an ignorant douche-bag.

Contrary to the beliefs of many this is not a good thing. The 80s were a dark era in fashion, music, facial hair and aids awareness. To make matters worse, the 80′s comeback is specifically focused on the gym fashion and leaves out the minor high points of the era such as massive punk mohawks, indiscriminate sexual activities and rampant cocaine use.

The comeback seems to be based on the premise of wearing colour schemes that make the eyes water, short shorts and skintight trousers on men and covering of flesh on women. No man’s package should ever be visible through his trousers and no woman’s form should ever be obscured unless dictated by the weather. These are basic social rules that have been fought for by people with dress sense and decency for many years.

In this case, What package?

The blame lies squarely on the university student age group who are of the mistaken opinion that looking “siff” is “cool” or “awesome”. It is also mostly attributed to the “jock” culture and in a small part the indie hipster movement. As a “jock” fashion, it can be found mostly among the students of so called traditional universities such as UCT, Stellenbosch and Rhodes. Somehow the former technikons have escaped this scourge, most likely by virtue of the smaller number of rich white kids with money to burn on stupidity.

Ya brah. I'm like, a huge jock hey

The fashion in question does not flatter those wearing it and functions instead by bestowing an incorrect feeling of individuality on the wearer.  One must always remember that dressing in a stupid manner, just like your peers, is not individual. It is called following the herd mentality away from socially accepted norms.

This scourge can only be combated with the same tools it uses against society:  unsociable behavior.  In much the same way as the wearers of 80s fashion inflict their awful outfits on society, a responsible person must strike back by ostracism, pointing out that the outfits in question look terrible or simply refusing to acknowledge the crimes being committed.

The people in question aim to look awful so telling them that they look disgusting is generally not the way to go. The correct way to point out to someone that they are inflicting a crime on humanity is to mention the ways in which their outfits do not flatter. One must also always remember that these individuals are seeking attention and as a result not giving it to them is the strongest form of disapproval.

Actually, to be honest, I'd still hit this. The one on the left. Yep. I would.

If anyone doesn’t believe that this crime is on the rise I suggest that you go to your nearest Puma or Nike store. Simply walking past their display windows will make you a believer.  Beware though, you could also find yourself blinded.

You can actually buy shit like this. You don't have to raid your parents' cupboard anymore.

It now rests in your hands to fight this scourge.

(All Images stolen without permission or credit from random google image searches, I do not know any of these people)

Author: Kyle Ecks