Tuesday night was a friend’s birthday, to toast this fact we decided that it would be appropriate to meet up at Quay 4 in the Waterfront for a few drinks.
I’m pretty sure I’ve been there before but it was quite some time ago. Regardless, it doesn’t have any bearing on this particular occasion. After much discussion we decided that we would eat there. after much effort, the waiter was summoned to the table, I have no problem with this. In Cape Town during the holiday season service will be shit, it’s a fact of life that we’ve learned to deal with. I chose the Q4 burger and found it to be enjoyable but nothing to write home about. Post-dinner we decided that it was time to move the evening down to the local as some members of the group were rapidly approaching the point where it would be reckless to try make it home from the Waterfront.
We prefer to avoid this.
After much effort the bill was obtained and the laborious process of calculating who owed what began. While bored I simply calculated my estimated bill in my head, The burger was R55 and I had 2 cokes due to my ongoing Synergy recovery. I budgeted for the cokes at a max of R15 which while steep is the sort of rip off restaurant price I’d expect from a place situated in the waterfront trying to push it’s luck. I thus calculated my bill as 55+30=R85. I then added the usual additional charges like the imposed 10% fee for the waiter to not serve a table over 8. To be honest I don’t really see why 8 is the magical number, perhaps it’s because ignoring 8 people simultaneously becomes difficult.
When the bill arrived I was in for something of a nasty surprise. My cokes were, for some inexplicable reason R22 each. I double checked to make sure I was seeing correctly and there it was still, L/coke @ R22. I considered raising a fuss about it but decided to rather simply pay the devil’s ransom and leave.
But I can’t just drop it. It’s been burning inside me since last night. It’s not that the extra 14 bucks hurt me financially, it’s the fucking cheek of it. At a table drinking a variety of draughts the most expensive drink was the cokes. Yes, I paid more for 300ml of what I assume to be soda machine coke than the rest of the table paid for 500ml of draught beer. What The Fuck. One of my soft drinks cost me 2/5 of of what I paid for my food. This isn’t a glass of cheap wine with a huge markup here, it’s a fucking coke. Coincidentally the cheapest wine on the menu from what I saw was R19, cheap compared to cooldrink.
For an idea of the markups here we can consider that I, as a normal citizen, can go down to my local Spar and, for a little over R11 buy 2 litres of coke. So for slightly more than R22 I can buy 4 litres. This is at retail prices, which come in quite a bit higher than soda machine wholesale prices.
In fact, for R22 I can buy more than just coca cola. If we consider than a gram of cheap blow costs R300 (allegedly), and that gram can be easily separated into 15 moderately-sized lines (from what I’ve heard) that means that a line of Colombian Snow costs about R20. I paid more for a glass of coke than I would for a line of coke. What the fuck?
If you can't afford coca cola remember this cheaper alternative
I can only assume from this that they would prefer everyone at your table including the designated driver to booze it up and then drive home pissed, because anyone who knowingly orders a soft drink at that price is brain damaged. Ironically while running this rip off they advertise Castle’s Designated Driver competition on their twitter page.
The irony kills me
In case it wasn’t obvious from this, I will never set foot in Quay 4 again. Should you know someone involved in it, (owner/manager/waiter) please tell them that they’re welcome to explain this to me, the comments section is right there go fuck themselves.
Regards.
Kyle.
No related posts.
I ate Calamari there night before last. It was so chewy I nearly (very politely, but truly) choked.
Our waitress was very understanding. When she saw me feeding it to the birds she commiserated and then joined in. She earned her 10%.
Capitalism’s a bitch, i’d have to agree; but let us be honest: anything one purchases at the waterfront is bound to be overpriced. It’s a tourist trap, offering a fake-plastic Cape Town experience to those travelers rich and dumb enough not to notice. Either way, of course, “Quay 4 encourages drunk driving” is still a valid interpretation of the facts, and, in fact, makes me smile. Nice.