Apologies for the headline. I’m not functioning at full capacity today, as the saying goes, not firing on all cylinders, an analogy which only truly makes sense to people with a working understanding of internal combustion engines. And given the lack of the ability to affect a simple tire change amongst my friends I would assume that people who understand the aforementioned saying are rare. But maybe that’s just my friends.
Why am I not functioning at full capacity you may ask? Well ask no more friends because I shall divulge this information to you freely. I was at Zula last night. Having owned (or as the nerds would say pwned) the moshpit at The Purple Turtle, I made my way to Zula to catch Hog Hoggidy Hog, safe in the knowledge that I couldn’t have missed them because I’d just watched their drummer play for A B Turbo, and felt sure that I could make it to Zula faster than him as I was unencumbered by the need to lug a drum kit with me.
2 Gigs in a Night - No Problem Bud
Upon my arrival at Zula I was greeted with a familiar sight. (Lets just say this isn’t the first time I’ve been to Zula) The sight in question was the bar and balcony packed to the seams. No matter what, I’ve always found Zula gigs to be well attended. Drinks were quickly acquired and a vantage point was secured.This was then foolishly abandoned in favour of fresh air on the balcony. Shortly thereafter The Hogs took to the stage and the drinks were dispatched with zeal and after some cunning use of ninja techniques I found myself slap bang in the middle of the moshpit.
The Hogs Moshpit - You Should Have Been Somewhere in That.
A Hogs moshpit is never a disappointment and this one lived up to and exceeded all expectations, with sweaty bodies bouncing around in time to the brilliantly danceable songs. The Hogs songs are all crafted in such a manner that even if you’ve never heard them before you will be bouncing in time to their ska punk mastery within seconds of hearing a song. This coupled with their polished expertise at playing the songs, the energetic stage act and pure enthusiasm are what make a Hogs gig brilliant. These guys show no sign of aging or slowing down. Other notable parts of the performance included lead singer George Bacon taking over Ross McDonalds trombone to play him happy birthday and Teboho from The Rudimentals joining the band on stage to add some flavour.
The Hogs - Please Bow Before the Kings of Ska Punk
Adding to this is the fact that Zula has a wooden floor that tends to bounce in time to the masses of people jumping on it. It’s either been expertly crafted to do this without breaking or some floor builder randomly managed to achieve the perfect punk floor with sheer good luck because thus far despite the abuse it has endured it has never shown any sign of breaking. Needless to say having a floor capable of doubling as a trampoline is makes a moshpit even more ridiculous.
Actually, their arms are like that for balance
Some of you may still be asking, “But why, good sir are you not firing on all cylinders? You promised us an answer.” If you hadn’t caught on to this yet that answer is that quite simply, upon my arrival in the pit, I resolved not to leave, for the entire set. It’s a feat that even experienced moshers look upon as fraught with difficulty. Not leaving the pit means not getting any drinks or fresh air for the duration of the set. And if you’re in the pit you’d better be going for it on the mosh front. A full Hogs set of moshing hard takes a toll on a person and by the time they left the stage to the roars of approval from the crowd I was drenched in sweat, covered in other peoples spilled beer, and in dire need of a cigarette and a drink, but instead of indulging in these simple pleasures I headed back to The Turtle to catch 7th Son.
If you were there, thanks for making it a great night, and congratulations on surviving, Also well done to The Hogs for a brilliant show, If you weren’t there then what the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, I should physically assault you. But I won’t, because I love you guys, Instead I’ll give you a tip. Friday 13th Nov. The Turtle Strikes Back. Be There. You have no excuse this time.
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Hey – cool. You write well dude