As some of you may have noticed, I have been absent from these pages for the last while. If you didn’t then fuck you. The reason for my sudden and lengthy absence was a heroin binge. You know those ones that you sometimes just have to have, where you lock all the doors and tape up the windows, leave the phone off the hook, and just keep shooting poppy juice into your veins till you can’t hold a syringe anymore and the now dead hooker who thought she could keep up is starting to smell.
You know that you’ve almost caught the dragon but you really can’t keep going anymore. So you put the drugs away and settle in for cold turkey, a few days of screaming agony and loss of bodily function later you take a shower, throw the hooker off a pier tied to a rock and emerge to see what’s happened in the world in your absence.
He taunts me
So lets take a look a a few of the things I’ve found about what happened while I was out
Christopher Walken reading the lyrics to pokerface:
I really don’t think I need to add anything here. It’s Christopher Walken.
The Citi Golf has Finally Gone Out of production
I had one of these, most people have driven at least one in their lives, now it’s gone, to be honest I say good riddance, the comedy handling was ridiculous. Things things really have come a long way since ze germans designed that thing back in the 70′s. And we were the only country in the world still churning out those boxy monsters.
They had their place but I’m glad to see them gone. No one should ever have to suffer through owning a Brand New golf mk1. Now they’ll be sold where they belong: in second-hand lots.
They're gone now
To commemorate Vdub are haveing a tour with the last one ever produced. It’ll be cruising around the country and fans in the various destination cities will be able to sign on the car, if that sounds like your cup of tea then keep the 20th of November free, they haven’t revealed the location yet so you’d better check the goodbyeciti page closer to the date in question. Also if you’re not from Cape Town you’ll have to check to see when it’ll be in your city.
and Finally
The Invictus Trailer is out
Enjoy Morgan Freeman slipping in and out of Madiba’s accent. And Matt Damon talking like a clutchplate.
Looks decent doesn’t it?
That is unfortunately all for now. I have to go find something to eat to put some more flesh back onto my emaciated body. I’m gonna fatten myself up so that next time I can keep going long enough to catch that fucking dragon.
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