I’ve got a tumblr blog I’ve been messing around with called: There’s Kaka! It’s in honour of the World Cup Soccer thing that’s happening in South Africa.

Check out some of my pics and the blog, I’ll give you a kiss on the lips.

http://thereskaka.tumblr.com/

Much more available at the tumblr place. If you’re a regular tumblrer, please feel free to give me some tips. I have no idea how it works. Jesus knows how I’ve managed to come this far with inserting pictures into my own blogs.

Yours yoursly,

PSW

“Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.“

-John F. Kennedy

I’ve come under a lot of fire recently for what my friends and co-workers have been calling my lack of patriotism, lack of gees (spirit), and general World Cup hate. I’d like to take this chance, on the eve of South Africa’s biggest moment in the spotlight since Nelson Mandela walked out of prison, to speak objectively about how I feel about all of this.  Maybe it’ll make some of you think a little differently about it, though it’s not my aim to try and change your mind.  I’m going to do it in two parts.

Part One – On Patriotism

It’s not my intention to bash my country, or football, or anybody who is interested in football.  It’s all great – don’t get me wrong.  It’s a cool thing for any country to host, and it’s nice to see everyone in a nation that is usually rather divided come together for a single purpose.

As I write this here in London, there are just about as many South African flags as their are English football flags.  It’s nice to see, but there is something about all of this that bothers me – and has bothered me ever since the hype really started to get going, well over a year ago.

It might seem odd that I began with the epithet by Kennedy.  I wholeheartedly disagree with it.  While the world is divided into nations, I believe that it is the governing bodies of those nations’ duty to serve those who live within its borders in the most unobtrusive way possible, while allowing the greatest possible civil liberty, and still providing social justice and infrastructure.

That, in my opinion, is the sole purpose of the state.  The state should never intervene in the private lives of its citizens – it should have no moral impact whatsoever on how those citizens choose to live their lives, and as little financial and civil impact as possible.  I take a lot of my views from Robert Nozick, whom I realise is unpopular these days.

As a counterfoil to Kennedy’s iconic soundbite, I would like to offer this quote:

“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it”

-George Bernard Shaw

I was born in South Africa, and I have lived there for most of my life.  I am not an expatriate - I’m only in London temporarily.  But I’m glad to be here right now, and not there. Originally this was just because I saw most of the World Cup shenanigans as an inconvenience.  There is still no public transport aside from an unreliable train service (which I used to use daily) and hazardous or expensive taxis in Cape Town.  Daily life and mobility for citizens there will become difficult.  But that’s not the main issue.

My main issue is that we are all expected to suddenly be really stoked about being South African, and give a massive floating shit about how we perform in the World Cup.  Part-and-parcel of this, sadly, seems to be making those who do not share the national enthusiasm feel ashamed of their lack of spirit.

Personally I am fairly neutral about my country.  It has been good and bad to me.  It is where my friends and family live, and is an enjoyable place to live some of the time, but not others.  Public service is in a sad state, as is public transport and a number of other things people in the first world take for granted.  Crime is a constant worry, and this is something that a lot of people who have never lived elsewhere don’t seem to realise: there are places in the world where you do not have to lock your doors at night.

I myself have been a victim of crime several times, and once in quite a traumatising way.  I have struggled with inept social services, government infrastructure, racial inequality (yes, I’m white – we get it a lot too) and the educational system.  However, England has its own problems that citizens gripe about every day.  That being said, here’s a little graphic showing the number of murders in South Africa versus the United Kingdom last year:

My point is simply that there is no special reason to privilege your country.  It is something we are taught is right and good and proper – but it is entirely arbitrary. I am South African purely by accident of birth, and for no other reason.  I could just as easily have been born anywhere else in the world.  Since there is no particular reason I was born in South Africa, I see no particular reason to get more excited about South Africa than anywhere else.  In fact, there are a great many countries that, as objectively as possible, are “better” places to live than South Africa, and I challenge anyone to prove me wrong.

It is much like the majority of Ugandan citizens feel that it is appropriate that people found guilty of homosexuality receive prison sentences, or even the death penalty (in the case of homosexual sex with a minor).  A lot of people there (and they must exist because laws don’t happen when everyone thinks they’re a bad idea) believe in this as wholeheartedly as we believe that our country deserves our support when we’re playing a sport against another country.

Don’t get me wrong: I love my home.  But I love it in the way I love my dog, or my favourite bar.  It’s familiar, comfortable, I get my drinks cheap and they know me there.

Take, for example, the vast number of South Africans who support English Premier League football teams.  Most of these people have never been to Chelsea, or Liverpool, but fervently support them to the point of getting into physical fights with supporters of rival teams. They drive around with their team’s slogans on their cars, and sink into deep depression and drunkenness when their team loses. How these people decided to arbitrarily support one team over another has always escaped me.

It makes them happy, so good for them.  But I see no more reason to support Chelsea than I see to support South Africa in World Cup soccer.  I probably care more about South African rugby – not that I’m fond of rugby, but I do know the game better and once played it a little, so it’s slightly more familiar.  But I can’t say I even watched the last Rugby World Cup final.  This brings me to:

Part Two – On Football, and Sports in General

Most people like sports.  In fact, I very seldom meet someone who doesn’t like at least one sport, and most people like most of the popular sports on TV: cricket, rugby, tennis, football and even baseball or American football. But this is not something we are born with.  I usually find it difficult to explain to people that I do not follow any sports.  I was forced to play just about all of the above throughout high school.

I was never very good at any of them, and that could be for many reasons.  I was not naturally athletic, but neither are a lot of people who enjoy sports.  I simply had little interest, and received even less encouragement.  When that’s the case, it’s very unlikely you’ll develop any skill in, or affinity for, something.  It’s just like Accounting – I was fine with maths and physics and chemistry, but I just didn’t like Accounting.  I gave it up at the earliest opportunity.  I found it frustrating and discouraging, and my teachers did little to help that.  It’s no wonder I dropped it at the end of grade 10.

The same goes with sports. What I want to point out is that there is nothing wrong with not caring about sports.  It might seem unusual to most people, but it is perfectly natural to me.  I enjoy Formula One, because I like cars and strategy.  I like boxing because I enjoy the primal spectacle of two people engaging in a purely physical contest. But that’s about it.

My point is this: I do not care that much about the Football World Cup because I don’t like football.  I never have, and see no reason to start trying to enjoy it now.  I wish I could make people understand that.  It’s a massive media event, and completely in everybody’s face right now, and that’s why it seems like such a big deal to people that I’m so disinterested.  But when the World Maths Olympiad is on, nobody except those quite closely involved care about it (not that I’m one of them – it’s just an example).  The whole world doesn’t suddenly become mad about Maths and start supporting their favourite mathlete.

I don’t like Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber.  I don’t like ‘Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night’ by the Black Eyed Peas, despite mainstream media’s massive attempts to persuade me that these things are cool.  I’m just not buying.  Maybe it’s my anti-establishment stubbornness, maybe it’s just a matter of taste – but I like to think it’s because my parents, friends and teachers have been the type of people who taught me from a very early age to think for myself, and decide whether I liked something on my own and the basis of its merit, rather than try to fit my taste to what is most easily accessible.  I put football in the same category.  It’s something a lot of people enjoy, and that’s cool.

A lot of the things I like are not enjoyed by a lot of people.  I like to tell people about bands I like, places I enjoy, etc,  but they are usually not well-received, because they are often quite different from what is most prevalent.  It’s because I tend not to listen to the radio or watch a lot of TV, and rather seek out entertainment based on my own tastes and the recommendations of like-minded friends.  The World Cup is extremely popular, and easily accessible.  It doesn’t mean you have to like it, but it’s a lot easier to like it than to not like it.

And that is purely down to marketing.  Specifically, marketing budgets.  More money is being spent on this than any one person can actually comprehend.  From FIFA’s official budget, down to the improvements made by cafe owners to spruce up their bars in preparation for the crowds. FIFA will make a massive profit from this event, and South Africa will make a net loss – this is well-known.

Where there is money, motives are never clear.  FIFA claims to be doing it for the benefit of the sport, and that may well be true. But one cannot ignore the fact that this is primarily a business venture, and that the target market is the entire world. You see ads about it all over the place; on TV, on the radio, all over the interwebs, and pasted up next to your office water-cooler.

There is no escaping it, and you have only two choices: fit in or fuck off. Like it or lump it.  I’ve tried to get excited about it.  I really have.  But I would be lying to myself if I pretended that I was. I will watch the opening game and the final, and some in-between, because they will be enjoyable social events.  But I cannot bring myself to summon enthusiasm for one team winning over another.

I have a great many interests, but this is not one of them. It is my hope that my friends, and my readers, will understand this – if not agree with it or support it.  We are not all created equal, with the same likes and dislikes, and to me it is entirely natural to have no interest in the Football World Cup. Maybe there are others who will read this who feel the same.  It doesn’t matter if there are or not, though.

I wrote this so that those who berate me for having no national pride, or just for being a grump, might understand that there are different ways of seeing this whole thing.  I wish I could go back in time and tell fourteen year-old me that there is nothing wrong with having little interest in sports, and that it is no crime not to enjoy something in which the vast majority take so much pleasure.

Everyone is different.  In a time when the world comes together to support their countries, and take pride in being on the same side, I feel that it is important to remember this.  If your horse prefers orange juice over water you can shove its head in the lake as much as you like but it won’t take a drink.  And I am that horse.

Yours

Norman Conquest

Three people died – the driver, a coach and a media officer – in the attack by separatist guerrillas in the province of Cabinda where Togo are due to face Ghana in their opening game on Monday.

Togo government spokesperson Pascal Bodjona had said: “We can’t continue in these dramatic circumstances in the African Nations Cup. Our players are in shock.”

Mustapha Salifou: Aston Villa's Togolese star / Fotosports.com

The players were not all in agreement, according to radio interviews given by both midfielder Alaixys Romao and forward Thomas Dossevi.

Romao said: “People died for this African Nations Cup, others were injured. We should not abandon them and go like cowards. If we stay here it is for them. But also so as not to satisfy the rebels.” Dossevi added: “Of course we are all heartbroken, it is no longer a party, but we had wanted to show our national colours, our values and that we are men.”

CAF in waiting

The African Football Federation could not confirm or deny the reports. In the meantime CAF president Issa Hayatou obtained assurances from Angola President Jose Eduardo dos Santos that security would be increased for the tournament, which begins today when the hosts play Mali.

After his meeting, Hayatou flew to Cabinda to meet the Togo and Ghana players as well as the Burkina Faso and Ivory Coast teams who make up Group B, accompanied by almost the entire executive members of CAF, the general secretary and the executive director of the competition.

Hayatou said: “We are in a deep shock following the tragic incident that happened to our Togolese brothers and friends. You came here to play football but tragically three of your brothers were killed. I am feeling terribly bad and short of words. It is left to you to decide to stay in a competition synonym of fraternity, brotherhood, friendship and solidarity.

“If you decide to leave the competition, we will definitely understand your decision and it will be accepted. It is a difficult, individual and also collective choice, you are the only one who can decide.”

For the six teams the last three years of strife will be worth it, but for the other six it will mean they will have to wait at least another four years to be in a World Cup.

For the older players it will represent their last chance of playing on the biggest stage in soccer, and the fact that it is a landmark tournament, the first ever FIFA World Cup in Africa, just adds to the desire to be a part of the spectacle.

Of the six places left, four are for European teams, one is for a play-off between the best of the worst from South and North America, and the last place is being fought for by two African teams.

In the European section the play-off is played over two legs, the first having been played over the weekend. This has resulted in some teams having a distinct advantage going into this evenings games.

There has been a lot of talk, especially from the Portuguese and French, about how people should be getting behind Portugal and France, because if they don’t qualify some of the best players in the world won’t be at the World Cup, cheapening the event.

Personally I don’t care, soccer is a team game, and if Portugal have the best player in the world and can’t qualify through their group or past Bosnia, they really don’t deserve to be at the World Cup.

France vs Republic of Ireland
The French traveled to Ireland over the weekend for the first leg and came home with a vital 1-0 win, thanks to a Nicolas Anelka goal.

France will be incredibly fired up for the game, as they are looking to use the World Cup in South Africa next year to make up for their dismal showing in last years Euro Championship in which France didn’t win a single game.

Taking a one goal lead into the game in Paris tonight gives the French a major advantage. Another thing the French will take heart in from the first leg was how impotent the Irish looked going forward.

If France can score an early goal in Paris the tie will be all but over. The best Ireland can hope for is to back there defence and sneak a cheeky goal with a counter attack and look to win on penalties.

Ukraine vs Greece

Of all the teams who finished second in their qualification groups, meaning they had to play in the play-offs, Ukraine could count themselves amongst the most unfortunate.

They were part of the group which included England, who finished the campaign with nine wins from ten games, and the only team that England lost to during qualifying was the Ukraine.

They would probably have qualified comfortably from five out of the nine groups. But even as it stands they are favourites to go through. Greece experienced a woeful qualification campaign finishing second in their group behind Switzerland and only three points above Latvia. The other teams in their group were Israel, Luxembourg and Moldova. Not exactly England or Croatia like Ukraine had in their group.

Ukraine also managed a 0-0 draw in Athens over the weekend, putting them in the pound seat for qualification. Added to that is the fact that Ukraine are yet to lose at home in qualification so far. One worry the Ukrainians will have however is that the Greeks have actually been relatively strong on the road during qualification. Still, Advantage Ukraine

Slovenia vs Russia

Russia were another team that were a little unlucky not to qualify directly. A couple results here and there and they could have got themselves above Germany and booked cheaper early flights to South Africa.

Russia were right on top of Germany with two qualification games left, but then succumbed to a defeat in Moscow to Germany to end there hopes of automatic qualification. Then an away draw to Azerbaijan sealed a very disappointing end to the qualification campaign.

If Slovenia do eventually manage to get through to the World Cup Showpiece in South Africa it will be a surprise backdoor entry of some note. They finished second in easily the most awful group in qualification. They finished second behind Slovakia, and second above the Czech Republic (who were uncharacteristically bad, but definitely deserved not to qualify), Northern Ireland, Poland, and San Marino. Yes, it really was that bad.

After the draw for the play-offs Russia would’ve been pleased to get former satellite state Slovenia as opposition. Comfortably the easiest opponent in the play-off draw. But Slovenia through a spanner in the Russian engine by scoring a late consolation goal in Moscow over the weekend.

Russia still won the game 2-1, BUT it gave Slovenia an away goal, which means that if Slovenia can grab a goal from somewhere in the home leg and hold Russia out, they will win the tie 2-2 on away goals.

Russia still have the advantage, but there will definitely be some nerves amongst the Russians going out onto the field against Slovenia tonight.

Bosnia-Herzegovina vs Portugal

Portugal should never have found themselves in this situation, they have a squad full of world class players including, World Player of the Year, and one of the top two players in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo. Added to that was the fact that they had an “easy” group, and they should have qualified easily, but they didn’t.

Portugal made it to the play-offs finishing second behind Denmark, yes you read correctly, and above Sweden, Hungary, Albania and Malta.

A home loss to Denmark and draws against Albania (at home), Denmark and Sweden twice, probably had more than a little to do with them finishing second.

Portugal take a slight advantage into tonight’s game having won the first leg in Portugal 1-0. BUT, they have to play tonight’s game without Ronaldo. Portugal have been woeful without him recently, lacking creativity going forward, looking lost in front of goal, not finding gaps in defence.

In short I would almost back Bosnia to go through, there are many people who want Portugal, and Ronaldo, to go through and they might, but this is by far the most interesting of the European ties being played tonight.

Algeria vs Egypt

Different from all the remain qualification ties, the Africa play-off is a once off game played at a neutral venue. The reason the play-off is necessary is that Egypt and both Algeria finished Group C of the African qualify campaign with the same amount of points, the same goal difference, and the same goals for and against.

Making a play-off at a neutral venue the only way to separate the two sides. The Pharaohs, Egypt, and all their fans thought their drive for South Africa 2010 was all whilst playing Algeria in Cairo, leading 1-0 when the 90 minutes were up, the slender victory not being enough to leapfrog Algeria on the table. Luckily for the Pharaohs the officials saw fit to add six minutes of extra time, in which Egypt scored, forcing the Neutral play-off.

Usually Egypt would be favourites for the clash, but being as the countries are such big rivals and they were so even throughout the entire campaign. This is going to be a very close encounter. The fact that Egypt won the last meeting between the two 2-0 gives them the edge.

Uruguay vs Costa Rica

Being played all the way in the Western Hemisphere means that this game will decide the very last of the 32 qualifiers for the FIFA 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

Uruguay should get through this game easily, history is on their side, as way more often than not the team from South America over the team from the North. And this year really shouldn’t be any different.

Costa Rica made it to the play-off through finishing behind the United States of America, Mexico and Honduras above El Salvador and Trinidad and Tobago. Not the hugest names in the soccer world.

Whereas Uruguay finished behind, and had to compete with Brazil, Paraguay, Chile and Argentina and above Colombia, Ecuador, Venezuela, Bolivia and Peru. Definitely much stronger opposition.

Uruguay also take a 1-0 advantage into the second leg tonight, and barring some magic from Costa Rica, this should be an easy tie for Uruguay. It’s a little surprising that bookies are still taking bets on this one, I wouldn’t

In the middle of one of the worst recessions in ages £80 Million seems a bit much for one soccer player (or one blogger), so I took it upon myself to find out what other bargains you could get for that much cash.

6. A house

Only worth half as much as Pretty Boy

This  seven-bedroom house is situated in the north London district of Hampstead.  It has a bullet-proof front door, stone staircase constructed using 150-year-old carving techniques and an indoor swimming pool with gold-plated mosaic tiles.

It also boasts a gym, sauna, ballroom and cinema, a private hair salon and a one-tonne bathroom basin carved from a single piece of white Iranian onyx.

This property recently became the most expensive property ever sold in Britain at $US70 million, which is only £42,659,605.95, which would leave you with a wopping £37,340,394.05, to pay your gardener and buy some socks.

5. A car

The only thing in the post more sexy than Ronaldo

You can buy 88 Bugatti Veyrons and still have over R10 Million to invest in AIG stocks.

What someone would do with that many cars, or AIG stocks, I don’t know but I’m trying to make a flipping point, OK?

4. Some food

Food for Africa (the south part)

You would be able to buy a McFattie’s Big Mac for every single person in South Africa and have more than 7 million burgers left to keep in the freezer to help prepare for the next recession.

3. A country

Limited time only, while stocks last, at Glomail and participating outlets

You could buy Jacob Zuma, Shabir Shaik AND Julius Malema. Political influence, jail time, and negative media included with purchase. Items not sold seperately.

2. One soccer player

£80 Million Abs

It’s a little difficult to explain why this guy is worth more than feeding an entire country at lunch time, because it literally makes no sense. But Real Madrid seem to think he was worth it, and as long as their cheque doesn’t bounce I don’t think Manchester United will care.

To be fair to Madrid the only game they have lost this season is the one he didn’t play in.

1. This guy

Value for money

Much more obvious why this one would be worth £80 Million, so I won’t explain.