This is why you should become a city planning consultant:
If you read the papers today, you would have noticed the front page Photoshop showcase that some intern at IOL put together, illustrating what Athlone power station would look like if the cooling towers were a grass patch instead – and proving once and for all that the people of Cape Town have no imagination of their own.
What stood out to me was the bit that said the good City of Cape Town was dishing out 4.5 Million South African Rands to planning consultants who were putting together some ideas for how the site might possibly be used.
Seriously?
Here’s how any normal company would probably handle the situation: Put a big box in the kitchen at City Hall, and invite all the employees there to drop suggestions for how the site could be used. Hire two consultants and an intern to sift through the lame-ass suggestions, and evaluate the better ones. Pay the consultants R50k for their trouble, and give the owner of the winning suggestion a foot massage voucher and a really big Toblerone. Maybe get a chocolate for the intern as well.
But no, it’s the government. What’s more, it’s the DA. And while thank Superman they’re whining like, well, middle-aged white people about the ANC’s new wheels, they could have put all those consultancy fees to much better uses. For example:
Ferrari 599 GTB HGTE Version - R4 450 000
See, you’d even have enough left over to pay the consultants, and at least the big mean ANC boys wouldn’t laugh at your second-hand Toyota Camry.
The concern raised by some folks was that the towers are a “navigational landmark” used by Saffers and tourists alike to locate Cape Town. Cape Town, in case you haven’t been there, is rather famous for its giant mountain that looks like a fucking table, and not two ugly, unused pieces of the Soviet Union.
Knock them down, I say, and move Canal Walk closer so people from the Southern Suburbs can go there without feeling pretentious driving past Cavendish.
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Norman Conquest
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